Sleeping with old memories.

The thing is. Usually I have insomnia. Which is anyway useful because I`m supposod to sleep in a same building with a vampire quite often. The thing is that if something isn`t broken don`t bother to fixe it. It will only tear it apart. Machines aren`t like humans because there is a reason what is broken and that can be fixed. Humans have emotions and thoughts. So repairing humans isn`t quite that simple. My body is where I live in so I should learn to use it as well as I can. Learning dexterity, yoga, juggling ETC. Being in that can do things that I want it to do is beneficial for me. So can there be any more nihilistic philosophy than mine. The best drug is life itself. Not any drug can numb the utter stupidity of living in mouses wheel.

Psychopath

2z + 1y = x

That is normal math. The answer is three.

2 +1 = 3

Is it too obviouvs.

z and y is that math marks for x

So the conclusion is that writing and essay or a novel or a book or even article is the same as math.

It is like a mathematical formultion.

Like writing there is a what to count

the counting

and then the conclusion

Everything counts into everything

Like trying to argue who is better fighter, Superman or Batman.

Check you self how normal articles or writings are done.

Who, what where, and what was the result.

Bingo and jackpot.

Video

Fuck it.

Alive she cried.

I started to wonder about nihilism. I got involved with philosophy around teenager. I was a teenager that thought that everything is bullshit. How come I have to study swedish language. When I won`t ever need that in my life. Actually still I haven`t needed it. How come people are hypocrit. That was my biggest trouble. people say and believe they have everything under control and are nice people. When there is suffering and bullshit and poordom. That couldn`t fit in my head.

I got to study the thoughts of Sartre, Camus and also Kafka. Those had the same kind of deppression in there thinking as I had at that time and long time after, even partially still. But those were eksistentialist and there thinking was moulded by the havoc that II world war caused to the world. We are like dogs spending our whole time on searching a bone. Or we are thrown into this world with out having been asked if we like that or not. Also Jim Morrison sang on Riders of the storm: In to this house we are born, In to this world we are thrown, Like a dog with out a bone, Or an actor alone.

But did you happen to know that nihilism was quite extensive and well studied also well spread thought movement on the late 1900 and on the early 2000 century. Nihilism is often sayed that it is sick offspring of Nietzche. Who famously statemented that God is dead. Well Nietzches thinking like every philosophy school book tells us was tells us was taken in the benefit for works of The Nazi party. And so on.

But Nietzche did deny the christian ideology of turning the other cheek and also the idea of letting god and or Jesus come into our selves and then we wuold be salvaged. The idea that we are sinners but of gods love and gods work we can get freed of our sins, was troublsome thought for Nietzche. He actually studied quite a lot of Buddhism, which was popular for 1900 centurys thinkers. The weird thing is that he didn`t deny the Buddha, but even thought that he was ecceptional thinker and had unique and interesting life style and life attitude. Obviously Buddha said that only one self can enlighten himself. So that had similarities for Nietzsche and in his thinking of super eco or strong individual.

The thing in my writing was in fact to descripe nihilism. Which in short I think is that why bother. Even AA movement says that focuse on the things that you can influence and don`t bother about the things that you cannot change. Which I think is crucially important verse in every addicts life ecpecially recovering addicts lifes. When there friend still keeps boozing and using  and self is trying to change own life into more better.

Nihilism isn`t same thing as suicidal self destroiyng. Violent human is violent and addict is an addict and those people suffer from there behaviour. but those things are in our world. So should we even try to change the world into a better place or even have moment for thinking of that. I only wonder how many teens have been troubled with those thougts trying to tell there parents about issues. Usually about vegetarianism or of religion or even of  Heavy/Rap/Techno music.

As a buddhist I deeply know that we individual can make our lifes and the lifes of everyone we know and meet better. By merely being nice to each other and by trying to do our work at hand as well as we can. So we all do matter. But what has led me into this point after studying a lot of history and philosophy. Undergone a few mega chrises and so on, has been an interesting journey. I could say still that a lot of nihilistic thought is in me. And I have noticed nihilism has gained again popularity amongst scholars and in there thinking. So thats how come I wanted also to write about it.

Yea we all think what is our place in this world and who I am in terms to myself and in terms to everyone else. And it is good to think that. I just hope that people would see that to every difficulty there is a solution. Like I was thought by my mom. And in life there are better times and not so good times. And so on deepa daipa.

Continuing thought.

In my earlier writing I descriped about crashes. But neat way for example to count the energies that does occur and evolve when something moves is to count it with a simple form. So:

force times mass devided with friction

With that can count how much newton energies are in some object that moves and how much newton energy would occur if object hit a straight wall.

counting energies of a crash then can count the newton energies of the objects that are in the crash and multiply those together. That is in a head on collision of a car.

Counting different other possibilities of energyes of movement and sudden stops or change of movements is more difficult because it is difficult to count the different angels of force and friction that effect the mass.  Also the faster a mass goes the more gravitation force affects to it. for example F1 competition drivers in tight turns are affected by good amount of gravitation force. When the mass including the driver inside it turns with fast speed the car and the driver have to hold that. Because the movement tryes to still go straight but it turns so gravitation force affect to the mass.

When a mass moves it is good to remember that if that mass suddenly stops it tryes to continue it`s movement to the way it is moving. That is how come in head on car crash first body goes forward and hits the head on stearing wheel or to clove box or the seat on front. Or if has seat belt that pulls back and then goes first forward and seat belts pulls back. So that all ways is really damaging to neck and head. And often is good to remember that when driving.

But fun sometimes to count physics.

A moment of thought about physichs.

Well a few weeks ago I was in kitchen at home. I was making food and frying chock meat. Then a thought came in to me. I had put a clump of chock meat on the hot pan and was separating it with my frying flap.

I started to ponder if anything can be broken in to atoms. As I have demonstrated atoms are clinged to each other with a magnetic pull. And the more dence the material is the more stronger the pull is. Chock meat isn`t very dence material and breaks into peaces easilly. Iron for example is more dence and needs more energy to break apart.

So for example if while doing construction work and a hole has to made into wall. It needs a lot of force to break the attached atoms in the wall to make that hole. And also the help of power tools.To continue, In car crashes there is really a lot of energy involved and the cars and often, unfortunatly passangers, get badly damaged. So is in bike crashes where in a possible crash the collision energy hits the bike rider.

But can something actually be broken into so tiny pieces that those becomes merely atoms anymore. Roughly I would say that with our current technology it isn`t possible. And is there any need for that. But interesting thought it still was. And actually noticing of physical happening in everyday life.

Thoughts of chaos theory.

We can not totally understand our human life. There are certain rules that society offers us. Those are written in our national laws. We can choose to obay those laws or not to. Everybody knows that breaking the law is wrong and is something that will get a punishment. In that way there is a free will to do what want`s to. Allways and often our actions aren`t reasonable. That is part of chaos theory in social field.

There are many things that we cannot predict. Like the future. We cannot know what will exatly happen in future. Merely we can give different predictments. Easy way to notice how difficult to understand forthcoming happenings is to observe people in public places. We cannot say how those will do there every movement, for example in a payment situation at a shop cashier or how those behave and act in a restaurant. Does everyone come on time to a restaurant and when those come.

In a factory where there wuold be only machines and programmed computers to manage the factory work. Everything wuold happen like is known. All ways the same way and as long as something wuold malfunction. That is how come we humans aren`t robots. And there is allways something that we cannot totally explain.

Social studys cuold explain if certain person is born in certain circumstances. He`s/her`s life will develop in this way. That isn`t possible. And that is included in chaos theory.

Also classic of chaos theory is the study of weather. That we can predict only for a week ahead. But we cannot for example predict how cloud walls form in the sky. Those are constantly changing and this we can also wittnes with our bare eyes.

The snow flakes are all ways different. And don`t have same shape. That is because the water freezes in high altitudes all ways different. And there isn`t any models to show how different snowflakes have and does form. Or how wind moves the tree branches and leaves in it. We don`t have any computer or other models to show these form and happen.

Also how current of events happen is something we can`t so well explain. Classic example of this is that if butterfly flaps it`s wings on other side of the world and starts a small change in the air current, can it cause a hurricane on the other side of the world. Or even if someone througs a stone on the ground can it cause after many continoues changes to the ground an earthquage.

So plenty we know and can understand of atoms and masses and how our world works on natures level. But allways there is something we cannot descripe or explain in our life or in our world. And that is what chaos theory explains. So can anything be chaotic and without understanment. That is difficult to say. We don`t have ready models for the understandment of human life or the weather or possibility to totally prevent disasters to occur.

I have came to understand that this is because we aren`t robots and the world we life in isn`t a computer. We are humans and cannot and shouldn`t allways be predicted. Animals are living things. The world we live in isn`t a mere computer in which we live inside. Computers do only as it is told to do. So if opens a folder it opens that. If we write a computer code the computer does actually according to that written code. If there is a mistake in that code nothing happens and it needs to be sorted out. Car moves how it is driven. Phone calls if it is made to call. Of course if technology works.

But this is an ecosystem and changes constantly. There are rules to this. Like from which everthing constructs. Atoms and physical laws. The planets circulate on the same round around the sun. Comets have there own rounds. Those we can observe. But the ever on going changa of thigs is something we cannot explain and that what makes life worth living for. Life isn`t something ready made for us. There wuoldn`t be any reason or mind to that. We change constantly the world changes and that is something that we should think in our own ethical thinking. What kind of life and society should be. Like I have demonstrated earlier.

More of chaos theory in here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos_theory