Alive she cried.

I started to wonder about nihilism. I got involved with philosophy around teenager. I was a teenager that thought that everything is bullshit. How come I have to study swedish language. When I won`t ever need that in my life. Actually still I haven`t needed it. How come people are hypocrit. That was my biggest trouble. people say and believe they have everything under control and are nice people. When there is suffering and bullshit and poordom. That couldn`t fit in my head.

I got to study the thoughts of Sartre, Camus and also Kafka. Those had the same kind of deppression in there thinking as I had at that time and long time after, even partially still. But those were eksistentialist and there thinking was moulded by the havoc that II world war caused to the world. We are like dogs spending our whole time on searching a bone. Or we are thrown into this world with out having been asked if we like that or not. Also Jim Morrison sang on Riders of the storm: In to this house we are born, In to this world we are thrown, Like a dog with out a bone, Or an actor alone.

But did you happen to know that nihilism was quite extensive and well studied also well spread thought movement on the late 1900 and on the early 2000 century. Nihilism is often sayed that it is sick offspring of Nietzche. Who famously statemented that God is dead. Well Nietzches thinking like every philosophy school book tells us was tells us was taken in the benefit for works of The Nazi party. And so on.

But Nietzche did deny the christian ideology of turning the other cheek and also the idea of letting god and or Jesus come into our selves and then we wuold be salvaged. The idea that we are sinners but of gods love and gods work we can get freed of our sins, was troublsome thought for Nietzche. He actually studied quite a lot of Buddhism, which was popular for 1900 centurys thinkers. The weird thing is that he didn`t deny the Buddha, but even thought that he was ecceptional thinker and had unique and interesting life style and life attitude. Obviously Buddha said that only one self can enlighten himself. So that had similarities for Nietzsche and in his thinking of super eco or strong individual.

The thing in my writing was in fact to descripe nihilism. Which in short I think is that why bother. Even AA movement says that focuse on the things that you can influence and don`t bother about the things that you cannot change. Which I think is crucially important verse in every addicts life ecpecially recovering addicts lifes. When there friend still keeps boozing and using  and self is trying to change own life into more better.

Nihilism isn`t same thing as suicidal self destroiyng. Violent human is violent and addict is an addict and those people suffer from there behaviour. but those things are in our world. So should we even try to change the world into a better place or even have moment for thinking of that. I only wonder how many teens have been troubled with those thougts trying to tell there parents about issues. Usually about vegetarianism or of religion or even of  Heavy/Rap/Techno music.

As a buddhist I deeply know that we individual can make our lifes and the lifes of everyone we know and meet better. By merely being nice to each other and by trying to do our work at hand as well as we can. So we all do matter. But what has led me into this point after studying a lot of history and philosophy. Undergone a few mega chrises and so on, has been an interesting journey. I could say still that a lot of nihilistic thought is in me. And I have noticed nihilism has gained again popularity amongst scholars and in there thinking. So thats how come I wanted also to write about it.

Yea we all think what is our place in this world and who I am in terms to myself and in terms to everyone else. And it is good to think that. I just hope that people would see that to every difficulty there is a solution. Like I was thought by my mom. And in life there are better times and not so good times. And so on deepa daipa.